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[20 Jun 2009|09:54am] |
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A lot of things have happened in my life lately. Things that I've all considered good things as they all brought changes. Good changes though and changes I'm happy about but still changes that threw my simple life around. My life in LA is very different from the life I used to lead in England. I sometimes miss it so I do go back occasionally, even though I hate flying and take sleeping pills so I don't get too much of the flight.
Mark and I have been working on the album a lot and yeah I'm only talking about my drummer here. We recently replaced our bassist. Thing in this world is that for me LostAlone is my life. It's something I put my whole heart into and I expect the same of my band mates. When you start to notice that for one of them that same amount of love and heart just isn't there anymore you have to talk. You have to see what's wrong and if it can be fixed or if you, sadly, have to part ways. The second happened for us and as mates we parted ways. I have no idea what Tom's going to do and he helped out great with the band but he's no longer a member. No matter what he goes on to do with his life I wish him luck. It sucks I don't have him in my band anymore but we found someone new and I know that we'll be able to still be the LostAlone our fans expect us to be.
Before I came here I was a Masterson. I will always consider myself one but knowing that I can say I'm an Adams, as my mother's family has accepted me as a member of their family as well, means a lot. It was nice to be at my cousin's wedding and be one of his groomsmen. He looked truly happy and Macy looked beautiful. The fact I was there and was able to share in their happiness meant a lot to me. It was more then I expected when I came here.
I never expected much of my trip to America. I wanted to look for my family and I found them. Instead of being turned away, something I feared would happen, Kennedy was willing to listen and we got to know each other. I'm proud of the man he is and glad he's as happy as he is because he deserves it.
I never expected to find love when I came here though. Never expected to find someone who would be interested in my but then I met Denise and from the first day she took my breath away. I wanted to know her and be there for her in every way possible. I stood by her in times she needed me and the fact she was so human, complete with flaws ad never once pretended to be something different was what made me fall in love with her. She didn't expect me to be some superman but only needed a friend to hold her and look after her and maybe even love her so that's what I did. I fell in love with her and luckily for me she feel in love with me too.
We've gone through so many things together and now we're living together it makes me happy I'm such an incredibly lucky guy to have her wake up next to me every morning and have her look at me still have sleepy but with a smile on her face before she says those 3 words that make me smile. "Is there coffee?"
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(4 Are LostAlone | Are You Lost?)
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[22 Feb 2008|11:40pm] |
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I'm writing while I'm sitting on the tour bus. I'm having some time to myself and I've realized I have an update to write but when you don't know what to write about you have to honestly admit to yourself that sucks. It's not like I didn't do anything. I didn't just sit on my ass doing nothing the past couple of weeks. I've toured with different bands and I've enjoyed myself, and still am doing so, but does anybody really want to hear about me traveling through different countries, being at home again, seeing my parents and talking to them telling them what I did and how I met my cousin Kennedy. They're happy for me though they know how I am. My mom even said that she knew it would take a while before I'd open up to him.
It's how I've always been. I hardly open up to people but that's because I was ignored by the other kids. It made me shy and really turned into myself. On stage is where I feel home. As long as I play and see the people react to my songs actually enjoying themselves I'm excited. I know that might sound weird to others but to me it makes sense. It means people actually like me and what I do.
Being the dork I am though I've spent many times walking through the cities we visited, taking pictures of people and buildings, venues famous spots I even went to a holocaust memorial site. I'm not Jewish but that does not mean I can't show respect. Through some records I got from the orphanage I found out that the family from my father's side had some members who died in the holocaust. At times I'm sad I'll never get to know my father and mother but then I remember I got a family already. The family who adopted me changed my names but they had their best interests at heart for me. They gave me a chance millions of other kids in orphanages never get.
I think because of that reason that one day, when I have a wife of course, I'll not only want to have children of my own but give a kid the same chance I got. Those are future plans though and I don't see it happening anytime soon especially not with the whole process I'll have to go through as my name's not Madonna but I know that one day it'll happen.
I should have posted this instead of leaving it out like I did earlier but I'm not gonna put edit on this.
Of course I can't forget about a certain someone I've met recently. Especially not because she has managed to make me be a bit more open. I'm not going to dive head in to things like she suggested me to try out but I am going to be a bit more spontaneous. Who is this woman you ask? Her name is Denise Rose Hawthorne and she's a beautiful woman. Not only on the outside but on the inside too. I can't help but smile when I think of her. She always manages to make me laugh or smile and I feel more confident when she's around. I never expected something like that to happen but I'm glad it did.
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(6 Are LostAlone | Are You Lost?)
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| Private to Kennedy |
[03 Jan 2008|11:29pm] |
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Kennedy,
I'm sure I'm not a person you expect to get a letter from. Especially not because when we met I didn't say much to you. I hope you can forgive me for that as it has nothing to do with you. For years I was always told to go away when I would sit or stand with other people. Either that or they got up and I ended up looking like a fool. After a while I started to get more on my own and the only thing I focused on was writing music. I was always ridiculed as I'm not very tall. I was the short little dork that spend all his time in the music room playing guitar and singing.
Unlike now back then nobody spoke to me. Nobody wanted to know who I was. I wasn't the kid they wanted to talk though because "Who the hell wants to hang with a moron that hums tunes all the time?" I didn't feel very secure back then and it turned me into a loner. As long as I had my guitar I was happy. Because my bandmates believed in me and kept talking to me and not walk away after 3 conversations like so many other people had done I decided to give my band a chance.
I guess what I'm trying to explain is that I'm only confident when I'm on stage. When I play guitar and sing I'm confident because I know I'm good at it. I bet you have that feeling when you're playing football. You're confident and know that at that moment nobody can take it away. Your fans are cheering you on and you know they are there to see you. Unlike me though you manage to take that confidence with you when you're off the field too. As soon as I take off my guitar and leave the stage I turn from Will back to Viliam. Yeah that's my real name Viliam Andrej Adams. My adoptive parents gave me the names William Andrew Masterson instead because my own names didn't sound "English" enough.
I should get to the point instead of trailing of like I seem to keep doing. What I want to say is that I admire you. You're strong and confident. On the field as well as off. You're not afraid to talk to people scared they'll tell you to bugger off or as they say here "Fuck off". I am. It's why I hardly open my mouth. It's not like I'm an idiot that has nothing to talk about. I do know how to hold up a conversation I'm just scared I'll bore people with the things I'm interested in. You're easier then me. You talk to people and if they don't find you interesting you figure it's their loss and find someone else to talk to. I, on the other hand, wonder if I said something wrong and worry what I could have done to cause an action like that. I worry too much. I know that. Thing is I do want to get to know you. I want to know more about you and the rest of the family. All I'm asking for is a little time to get adjusted to all of this. It takes a while for me to open up to people. Too many disappointments made that happen but like I said I'd like to get to know you so I'm going to try my hardest to be open and get to know you. I just hope you won't end up walking away like so many others did.
Will.
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(1 Are LostAlone | Are You Lost?)
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[09 Dec 2007|11:45pm] |
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Sorry friends only. Comment to be added! or just leave anons I don't care
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(Are You Lost?)
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[09 Nov 2007|12:00am] |
♥ William Andrew Masterson.
♥ Birthday May 28th
♥ Born In Slovakia because his mother fled there with her boyfriend from there who her parents disapproved of.
♥ Original name is Viliam because of his birthday
♥ Was named by nuns as his mother died soon after giving birth and his father had died while his mother was pregnant.
♥ Was adopted by an English family at the age of 4.
♥ Believed they were his parents as he hardly remembers his time at the monastery.
♥ Found out his mother's last name on 21st birthday through a letter she wrote during her pregnancy.
♥ Found out his name was actually Viliam Andrej Adams and that he was a cousin to football (soccer) player Kennedy Adams
♥ Decided to look for family soon after.
♥ Heard about Kennedy living in LA and decided to go here.
♥ Does not know how to approach his cousin so pretends he's here because of his band and the American band they are working and soon will be touring with.
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(Are You Lost?)
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